Saturday, February 24, 2007
-more than i ever expected-
my first hangover today. i swear i nearly passed out during work.
the extractions of molars were the caused of it all, and muffins were all i had yesterday night. that probably explained why i didn't feel all drank when i gulped down chivas and champagne, and so the alcohol effect kicked me REALLY hard when i went back home.
i tot i left the place at 4am, the sky was dark,then a little dragging by ben and moving various spots in my attempts to vomit..the next thing i know when i opened my eyes, it was 7am in the morning and i was sitting at the lift landing. what an awful sight. but, the nice boy did all he cud to make sure i was ok-i was in really good hands. :) thank you boy.
i struggled to go work at ten, only to realised that acting all gung-ho was not going to do anyone good. i squatted for almost half an hour and my head was throbbing. hangover sucks. and i can't eat cos i haven got my molars. and i can't breathe all that well. fark.
i'm so going to abstain. for a long long long time. i will do so.lay your bets.
| she whispered alone @ 8:56 PM|
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Wednesday, February 07, 2007
-toothless grin-
i think some dentists aint ethical.
i hope mine is.
i finally decided that doing braces will do me some good in my self esteem just like how xiaxue thinks her nose job is probably a boost to her esteem.
my teeth aint that imperfect, but becos i might be able to make it slightly perfect, i decided to give the dental clinic a visit.
the decision was overwhelmingly faster than i though it'll be. the dentist without looking at my teeth structure, explained the procedures in the usual braces-application. it worries me now that that was the case, but it worries me even more becos i've already committed to the 2years of looking like ugly duckling.i plucked out 2 teeth to make way for the other teeth waiting to stand in a straighter line. after new year, i've got to extract 2 more. a total of 4.ouch.
yes, it was. i could barely eat after the first 2 extraction and i felt so lethargic for no rhyme or reason.
and now my toothless grin looks ridiculous. and though i heard some encouragement fr my classmates when i went to school the next day. there were so many,"huh, y u do braces? your teeth not tat jialat"
oh sigh.
waste of money they said it was. my mum doesn't know about it as yet. so i'm bearin the costs in my stride. that explains why the workaholic is becoming more workaholic.
there's this pretty girl in my class. ha, i wonder if i'm becoming some lesbian or am i some closet lesbian. i find myself looking at her too often. JEALOUSY is the word. such flawless skin. ok, i sound alil psychotic here. its crazy.
beauty is in the eye of the beholder. where's mine?i'm such a vainpot. and i really wish my mom was beautiful,so she could pass some comforting genes to me, save me of my hard-earned money.:(
| she whispered alone @ 3:00 PM|
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--
this is so cool.
Get more Free Flash Thoughts
@flash-addict
| she whispered alone @ 2:56 PM|
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Friday, February 02, 2007
-in the middle of the night-
when loneliness sets in.
a life in its singular term.
a black shadow definition.
tim tams and ben&jerry.
the choco indulgence.
its time to quit the sweet tooth
and resign to what i call destiny.
i finally stopped clubbing on weds.
it feels good waking early on thursday feeling refreshed.
but still. work's draining every drop of wat's left in me.
school's in its mid. 5 weeks into the school, 10 weeks to the end of yr2.
time flies. it really does. a month into 2007, so far a gd year it seems.
although i lost quite alot of money gambling. ooops.
i just went shopping recently. if i'm not wrong. this month i burnt $300.
the gap shirt on the magazine is not to be missed,
though i doubt i'll look as good as the model
not even near comparable.
but the thot of owning the nice shirt.
ok. self satisfaction.
i'm a horrid shoppaholic.
disgusting compulsive disorder..save me someone save me.
shoppaholic and workaholic-work for money to shop. complements each other
a causation undefined.
i'm missing alot of lunch/dinner appointments. i find myself telling people,
soon soon. next week next week. something's wrong with my planning.
i actually took up more job commitments.
this might mean i've to give overseas exchange a miss. no,hongkong and the hunks.
today i saw the tuition kid's dad. so cute, he looks like her older brother.
she's 14. and he looks 24. reminds me of dayan's dad and my own.
these days, fathers are looking younger and better looking too, and my own is ageing.
so forgetful and nagging.
fathers are gifts from heaven.
God send them as representatives of him. xiang's bday was a blast. i celebrated hers with ah kow's at zouk.
didn't quite drink with her but she definitely got herself high.
ah kow was so drunk he went back early.
but i managed to steal a picture of him, seconds before he puked on my shoes.
i find quiet dinner more appropriate these days.
i'm becoming tamer.
good.
and quite a mugger too.
excellent.
| she whispered alone @ 1:21 AM|
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Tuesday, January 23, 2007
-busywoman bumblebee-
i think i'm growing old.
i can't keep up with the young teenage lifestyle; the late nights, the little hours of sleep.
i become so lethargic the next day if i don get the full 8hours of sleep.
someone must haf voodoo-ed me.
finally, i think i've grown tired of partying. yes, it may be surprising to some and unconvincing to all.but i'm no longer feeling tempted on the wed night, even when i'm feeling useless at home.
school's a bitch. the amount of readings i've to do. n so i whine about the same issue every school term. n strange enuff, i survived the previous terms reading when only i feel like it-
which isn't quite often. n so i reckon i might this term too. all becos of the new prof who feels that stuffing students with endless readings will benefit them greatly and she'll be given due credits for filling braincavity to the brim with knowledge. t'cher t'cher. u noe ya students read and forget the v next moment. n i,personally, smoke my way thru.
i lost my keys today. okays,for the 2nd time. the first time, i dropped it thru the liftgap, n my dad was crazy enuff to think some repairman might try to sneak into our hse.
n tis time, God knows where i left my 2nd bunch. was it starbucks or on the bus. i cannot let my mom know about it, she'll whallop my arse. n it can't be worse when all my allowance are locked in the cupboard and there is no spare key to it. great.
i need to go to the gym, and tomorrow the 2 hour break looks promising for a good sweat-out.what should i do? my week is quite packed, events :) paradox in life. i enjoy it when i've no time to rest.sounds a lil whacky. but it makes me feel like i've kind stretch my life hours to the fullest. okays, tat was pure bull.
n did i say i'm gg to stop clubbing? hahaha. this friday's gg to be a night of drunkards gathering. celebrating someone's 23rd at zouk. birthday clown they call me. i must be present at b'day celebrations! aahahhaaa..
school's at 830.sigh. wat a pain. i can't wait for thursday to come. the start of the great weekend. for now. goodnights! off to bed i'll go. so i might stay awake longer on tues.
| she whispered alone @ 1:04 AM|
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Monday, January 01, 2007
-dust-
2007.
i love celebrating the coming of a new year. ushering it in with a bang.
yet this year it went quietly. but thankfully with my parents and siblings at home.
it might be a good kick-start. a new calling for a better me.
and so its the same every year. before you start the year. you try to make some resolutions.
so here goes;
1) to lose weight-i noe i've been sayin tat too long, temptations lurk everywhere. but c'mon,let's gif this poor lady here a worthy chance.
2) to manage my finances-its amazing how much junk i've at home, all the whole lot of impulse buying. singaporean style when there are sales. enuff enuff!
3) to study harder-i need some A's to counter the B's n C's i've been getting. damn
4) to club less-notice its less, not extermination.
5) to work less and build on my relationships with key figures
n 5 simple resolutions, i need to accomplish.
haven blogged for a long while, many events passed by. so i'll do some photo uploads.
after having half a year of cold war with my sister, we finally made peace. i was feeling santa clausy, so we spoke. it wasn't tat bad compromising actually.
december, e month of multiple celebrations, quite a nice way to end off a bad year. but unfortunately, the loss of my mobile during one fateful night made december shitty. i need to pick up a phone. the lucky bastard who picked up my phone.-may your hands rot.
so we had timmy's 5th birthday.
we had many poker nights.
we had many drinking nights.
we had company's christmas party at crazy horse.
an awesome christmas dinner, celebrations plus charades!
the celebrations of adulthood. in which the lady repeats her traits of not uploading the pictures till few months later. so till den. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
| she whispered alone @ 3:21 PM|
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Tuesday, December 05, 2006
-the last month of the year-
2006 is coming to a finale. a f***ed up year basically.
as we seek preps, clasp our hands to celebrate the coming of a hopefully better 2007,
it calls for some reflections.
the lousy stuffs in 2006,said and done.
too early for remorse, i'll save the self-pity for the last blog of the yr.
n see wat worse tortures 2006 might bring, in this final 2.75 weeks lapse.
zouk-out was not as fun as i tot of it as. the hype n all the media conjured.
luckily it was a swift torment, 7am came earlier den expected.
i watched the sunrise, a good view of the seaside,
n walked thru the dirtied beach littered wit ciggies butts, cups n lost slippers.
music on the other hand was good. though company wasn't.
that was sure expensive price to pay to wallow alone.
some stuffs said n not quite meant
i burnt the hole in the heart
n burnt a piece of mine
as i watched u leave,
i wished i shuddup at the right time.
n disappear in the face of the earth.
somethings should go,
somethings should remain,
yet i can't seem to separate which are these.
pardon me as i put u thru tis,
i'm equally mind-fcked by myself.
ever been stucked between 2?
ever wished you cud help everyone and
satisfy every soul?
ever tried farking hard to sit on the fence?
i want to offer that listening ear.period.
i know i can relief some pain.
but its almost like how economics put it,
allocative efficiency.
no one can be made better off without someone being worse off.
| she whispered alone @ 11:30 PM|
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Wednesday, November 29, 2006
-the open book exam-
last term, i had an open book exam,
it was of no use to me since i didn't quite flip the pages
not that i had everything in my mind, just that i couldn't remember where the answers were located.
tat's the bad part about open book exam.
you become so dependent on it.you feel u've done much more studying than u ever need just highlighting the lines in the book. and when i mean highlighting i meant highlighting. it seems like the pages of the books are yellow and my highlighter is white.
i swear i can predict what will happen at 2pm later today.
a question that pops to me like an alien from outer space, something that requires the speed of 100/pages per min-flipping and 500words/min-copying. i tremble at that thought. yet i sit here waiting for it to happen. maybe i should go practice some flipping and copying.
the power of reliance
on a lighter note, an almost weightless note
every shite will end tomorrow, temporal
and then colours will fill the world and parties will hit off the roofs.
pokering,mahjonging,swimming,running,tennising,partying,
jumping,shouting,screaming and all the -ing and -ed.
i can't wait i can't wait. and more pictures camwhoring practices i will engage in
such profession i must acquire. NOVEMBER 29 marks the start of celebrations.
29 is such a nice number. cos in another month's time. something aweseome will happen.
ok,if u got that, ok. i was just joking. if u didn't. hmm.maybe u should try gettin it.
| she whispered alone @ 2:25 AM|
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Monday, November 27, 2006
-its monday!-
i so know its not like the right time to blog, cos my rmss paper is approaching in prolly an hour's time.
but i've declared studying for it
OVER. its too tormenting on my degenerating brain cells.
true experiments,quasi-experiment,validity,reliability. screw all tat.
studying for it for the past few days caused this boredom, i really do not think i care about the results. hopefully after the paper, i'll receive words of consolation such as,"
i'm going to fail too".
no more macs for a long time. i ate so much of it i feel farking fat. but company was great. n we had much fun
clowning around.
yes dora, till the next sem we meet to mug.
soccer watching was a good break yest. watched with the 2 lil boys.:) both whom are man u fans. the
red devils. the one i hate. n they sing,"glory glory man united"..oh yes. we heard you.but i love
chelsea. not cos they've been winning.and some say its thru bribes. but somehow, i can't put a finger to why i do. I JUST DO! but oh well to all those jeerings i hear in the backgrd. SO?
okays, now back to books. before failure becomes a cruel fact.
| she whispered alone @ 5:25 PM|
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Monday, November 20, 2006
-the whites-
i've failed.
a visit to the hospital
grandma, she had a minor op
bed 10 my mom said she was
when i stepped in e ward,i cudn't match any of the patients
with the image of grannie i had in my memory
i ran out so worried
"mom,grannie is not here!"
my mom stepped in n my grannie waved to her
its tat saddening
the bloat the swell the whites
grannie, u had black hair the last time i saw you.
now i don recognise you
grannie, i tot i look the same.
u don recognise me either
its tat saddening
i don think i want to go thru
wat i went thru wit granddad.
i don think i want to be there at e last min
only to know u've gone to somewher better
its tat saddening
| she whispered alone @ 12:23 AM|
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Thursday, November 09, 2006
-along runs eunice-
3 more weeks of tolerance.
3 more weds of low PSI air
3 more final papers
3 more weeks of lack of sleep
and i'll be floating to somewhere nicer.
sch's a dread. i like to use the word
painfulmy projects duedates are approachingi've endless books to read
endless knowledge to prepare for finals
still presentations to crap
worse, no one's helping
cos they have their own business to cope
it doesn't matter that much to me.
those grades.
but the tot of doing worse than pep who are nonchalant
*shivers*
i can't be term as stupid,no, i can't be
stupidieri hope i didn't overlook any other stuffsi hope i'm not missing out on my relationships
with friends, with family, with society
i can't seem to remember when the walkway to wisma was blocked
can't seem to remember how grandma looks like
can't seem to remember the last time i spoke a topic wit my sis
can't rem the last thing i talked to my dad
i think i'm losing it.
3 weeks is all i need
| she whispered alone @ 11:21 AM|
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-you-
thank you for being sweet
u make me cringe
at every lil totful thing you do
some say its temporal
some say its a fake
some say its e trick
but i say i don care
cos now it feels right. just right.
| she whispered alone @ 11:11 AM|
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Friday, October 27, 2006
-a thorn-
bitch fit i'm having
cos' urs is spilling over the brim.
its amazing how u can shamelessly say stuffs like tat
u went thru some grooming classes didn't u
failing mids doesn't make me one hell of a loser
so stop blatantly say i m one.
i'm starting to hate u.
i know i shouldn't
but u were the thorn and the cause of such epidemic hatred.
fark it. fark yourself.
| she whispered alone @ 11:13 AM|
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Tuesday, October 17, 2006
-greens and diet coke-
there was an recent article about the model who died,
after starving herself with mere greens n diet coke for 3 mth
real admiration overruled sympathy.
how can anyone just have greens and diet coke?
those tempting meat and fried to crisps stuffs.
n whenever i do try to go on such anorexic/bulimic diet,
my bro will daunt at that weak attempt of mine.
he tells me the damage to the digestive system and liver
and the possibility of countering death
once, with my sheer humor,
i told him,"that's gd, i want to die"
n so came the nice reply,
"there are better and faster way to."
ok.browell, models do have to be thin to be on that runway
tat's reality.
and even if u aint a model or model-wannabe,
the intrinsic preference is embedded in society.
those disgusted stares at chubby fats,
n invention of horrid term like,"thunder thighs"
maybe green beans,diet coke and occasional meat.
| she whispered alone @ 12:16 AM|
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Saturday, October 14, 2006
-your day.-
late night supper.geylang
frog porridge. green tea. roadside table
build up knees energy for the workaholic
company was thumbs-up,
loads of crazy laughters
i dono if i have fallen for.
the feeling so uncertain.
but now its an equilibrium
let's just have it this way.
your way. your day.
| she whispered alone @ 6:53 PM|
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Friday, October 13, 2006
-workwrecked-
was at the s'pore jewel fest preview yest.
shopping i was not.working yes i was.
at wk with the hefty plates n burdensome shoulders,
i almost collapsed near the end.
the number of tai-tais conquered the diamond-dazzling showroom.
i broke down mentally figuring out how extravegant their lives must be.
n e photographer asked me,"eyeing smth?"
i don't think i can afford it,not now. soonskoolwk's becoming harder to manage.
n e clown is having immense difficulty trying to juggle
the balls are all over the floor.
work,school,tuition,parties.
worse,i've disgusting teammate for some projects.
irks me to know we are actually close in sch.
please do something about it and stop giving excuses
| she whispered alone @ 11:11 AM|
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Thursday, October 12, 2006
-on a thursday-
i can't put a finger to how i feel,
the ransacked life alcohol and parties have led to,
another wasted night at zouk.
beautiful yet mudane life was-2 yrs back.
as i look back, i realised how much society has caused
the changes in me,
so horrid, my parents will be put to shame.
christians we all are, yet i'm, consciously misbehaving.
what has become of me?
| she whispered alone @ 1:50 PM|
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